I

48 entries

Ice-cream men.

All Neapolitans.

Ices.

It is dangerous to eat them.

Idealism.

The best of the philosophic systems.

Ideals.

Perfectly useless.

Ideologists.

Every newspaperman is an ideologist.

Idiots.

Those who differ with you.

Idolaters.

Are cannibals too.

Iliad.

Always followed by "Odyssey."

Illegible.

A doctor's prescription should be. Likewise one's signature—it shows one is swamped with correspondence.

Illusions.

Pretend to have had a great many, regret that you have lost them all.

Imagination.

Always "lively." Be on guard against it. When lacking in oneself, attack it in others. To write a novel, all you need is imagination.

Immorality.

Distinctly enunciated, this word confers prestige on the user.

Imperialists.

All honest, polite, peaceable, charming people.

Impiety.

Thunder against.

Imports.

Canker at the heart of Trade.

Impresario.

Artist's word meaning Manager. Always preceded by "clever."

Inauguration.

Cause for rejoicing.

Incompetence.

Always "notorious." The more incompetent one is, the more ambitious one ought to be.

Incognito.

The dress of princes on their travels.

Incrustation.

Applies only to mother-of-pearl.

India-rubber.

Made of horse's scrotum.

Indolence.

Product of warm climates.

Industry.

See Trade.

Infanticide.

Committed only by the lower classes.

Infinitesimal.

Meaning unknown, but it has to do with homeopathy.

Inkwell.

The ideal gift for a doctor.

Innate ideas.

Make fun of them.

Innocence.

Proved by unshakable calm.

Innovation.

Always "dangerous."

Inquisition.

Its crimes have been exaggerated.

Inscription.

Always "cuneiform."

Inspiration (poetic).

Brought on by: a sight of the sea, love, women, etc.

Instinct.

Does duty for intelligence.

Institute.

The members are all old men who wear green eye-shades.

Instrument.

If used to commit a crime, always "blunt"—unless it happens to be sharp.

Insult.

Must always be washed out in blood.

Insurrection.

"The holiest of duties" (Blanqui).

Integrity.

Found particularly in judges.

Interval.

Invariably long.

Intoxication.

Always preceded by "mad."

Intrigue.

The gateway to everything.

Introduction.

Obscene word.

Invalid.

To raise his spirits, pooh-pooh his ailment and discount the story of his suffering.

Invasion.

Brings tears to your eyes.

Inventors.

All die in the poorhouse. "The wrong man profits by their genius—it isn't fair."

Italians.

All musical. All treacherous.

Italy.

Should be seen immediately after marriage. Is very disappointing—not nearly so beautiful as people say.

Ivory.

Refers only to teeth.