Absalom
If he had worn a wig, Joab could not have murdered him. Facetious name for a bald friend.
Letter A
Abelard
No need to have any notion of his philosophy, nor even to know the titles of his works. Just refer discreetly to his mutilation by Fulbert. The grave of Abelard and Heloise: if someone tells you it is apocryphal, exclaim: "You rob me of my illusions!"
More from Letter A
Absinthe
Extra-violent poison: one glass and you're dead. Newspapermen drink it as they write their copy. Has killed more soldiers than the Bedouin.
Academy, French
Run it down, but try to belong to it if you can.
Accident
Always "regrettable" or "unlucky"—as if a mishap might sometimes be a cause for rejoicing.
Achilles
Add "fleet of foot": people will think you've read Homer.
Actresses
The ruin of young men of good family. Are fearfully lascivious; engage in "nameless orgies"; run through fortunes; end in the poorhouse. "I beg to differ, sir: some are excellent mothers!"