Wagner
Snicker on hearing his name and joke about the music of the future.
Letter W
Waterproof
A very practical garment. A very harmful one because it checks perspiration.
More from Letter W
Waltz
Wax indignant about. A lascivious, impure dance that should only be danced by old ladies.
War
Thunder against.
Watch
Good only if made in Switzerland. In pantomimes, when a character pulls out his watch, it has to be an onion: this never fails to raise a laugh. "Does your watch keep time?" "The sun runs by it."
Water
The water in Paris gives you colic. Salt water buoys you up. Cologne water smells good.
Wealth
Substitute for everything, including reputation.