Facade (of buildings).
Great men look well when sculptured in front of.
F55 entries
Face.
The mirror of the soul. Hence some people's souls must be rather ugly.
Factory.
Dangerous neighborhood.
Faithful.
Inseparable from "dog" and "friend." Never miss a chance to quote: "True as a needle to the pole" and "Among the faithless, faithful only he."
Fame.
"Vanity of vanities."
Fanfare.
Always "loud."
Farewell.
Work a sob into your voice in speaking of Napoleon's farewell at Fontainebleau.
Farm.
When visiting a farm, one must eat nothing but rye bread and drink nothing but milk. If eggs are added exclaim: "Heavens, but they're fresh! Not a chance you'd find any like these in the city!"
Farmer.
Always "Squire" So-and-so. All easy-going.
Farmers.
What would we do without them?
Fat.
Fat people do not need to learn to swim. Are the despair of executioners owing to the difficulty they present; e.g. la Du Barry.
Fatal.
A wholly romantic word. Applied to a man, signifies one with the evil eye.
Favor.
It is doing children a favor to slap them; animals, to beat them; servants, to fire them; criminals, to punish them.
Fear.
Gives wings.
Felicity.
Always "perfect." If your cook is named Felicity, she is perfect.
Female.
Use only in speaking of animals. Contrary to what obtains in the human race, the females of animals are less beautiful than the males, e.g. pheasant, rooster, lion, etc.
Fencing.
Fencing masters know secret thrusts.
Feudalism.
No need to have one single precise notion about it: thunder against.
Fever.
A sign of the strength of the blood. Caused by prunes, melons, the sun in April, etc.
Figaro (Marriage of).
Another of the causes of the Revolution!
Figleaf.
Emblem of virility in the art of sculpture.
Finger.
God's finger is in every pie.
Fingerbowls.
Sign of wealth in the household.
Fire.
Purifies everything. On hearing the cry of "Fire!" begin by losing your head. A spectacle worth seeing.
Firing squad.
Nobler than the guillotine. Delight of the man who is granted the favor of facing one.
Flag.
The sight of it makes the heart beat faster.
Flagrante delicto.
Always use the Latin phrase. Applies only to adultery.
Flamingo.
A bird, so called because native to Flanders.
Flatterers.
Never miss the chance to quote: "By God, I cannot flatter"; and "Every flatterer lives off the fool who listens to him."
Flies.
*Puer abige muscas.*
Flood victims.
Always along the Loire.
Foetus.
Any anatomical specimen preserved in spirits of wine.
Food.
In boarding schools, always "wholesome and plentiful."
Forehead.
Wide and bald, a sign of genius, or of self-confidence.
Foreign.
A fad for everything foreign: a sign of a liberal mind; contempt for whatever is not French: a sign of patriotism.
Fork.
Should always be of silver—it's less dangerous. Use it in the left hand, it is easier and more distinguished.
Fornarina.
She was a beautiful woman. That is all you need to know.
Fortune.
*Audaces fortuna juvat.* The rich are happy, they have money. When told of any large fortune, always put in, "Yes, but is it secure?"
Fossil.
A proof of the Flood. A joke in good taste when alluding to a member of the Academy.
Foundation.
All news is without—.
Free-lance (soldier).
More to be feared than the enemy.
Freemasonry.
Yet another cause of the Revolution. The initiation is a fearful ordeal. Cause of dissension among married pairs. Distrusted by the clergy. What can its great secret be?
Free Trade.
Cause of all business troubles.
French.
The leading people in the world. "It means only one more Frenchman" (said the Comte d'Artois). How proud one is to be French when gazing at the Colonne Vendome.
French fury.
Always pronounce *furia francese*.
Fresco painting.
No longer done.
Fricassee.
Only good in the country.
Frog.
Female of the toad.
Fugue.
Nobody knows what it consists in, but you must assert that it is extremely difficult and extremely dull.
Fulminate.
Nice verb.
Funeral.
About the deceased: "To think that I had dinner with him a week ago." Called obsequies if it's a general; inhumation if it's a philosopher.
Funny.
Should be used on all occasions: "How funny!"
Furs.
Token of wealth.
Furniture.
Be apprehensive—every kind of mishap can happen to yours.
Fusion.
Of the two branches of the royal family: keep hoping for it.