S

88 entries

Sacrilege.

It is sacrilege to cut down a tree.

Safes.

The combination is really very easy to outwit.

St. Bartholomew.

Old wives' tale.

Sainte-Beuve.

Ate nothing but delicatessen on Good Friday.

St. Helena.

Island famous for its rock.

Salon.

To write up the Salon is a good beginning in literature; it allows a man to cut a figure.

Saltcellar.

Upsetting it brings bad luck.

Sapphics and Alcaics.

Sounds good in a critical article.

Satrap.

Rich man of loose morals.

Saturnalia.

Festivals of the Directoire period.

Savings banks.

Only encourage servants to steal.

Scaffold.

When upon it, manage to say a few eloquent words before dying.

Scarf.

Poetic.

Scenery (stage).

Isn't real painting. The only skill required is to splash paint on the cloth and smear it with a broom—distance and lighting do the rest.

Schools.

Polytechnique: every mother's dream for her boy (old-fashioned). Panic of the bourgeois during insurrections when he hears that Polytechnique sides with the workers (old-fashioned). Just say: "At the School" and people will think you're a graduate. At St. Cyr: young aristocrats. At the School of Medicine: all subversives. At the School of Law: young men of good family.

Schoolteachers (women).

Are always from families in reduced circumstances. As governesses in the home, dangerous: corrupt the husband.

Science.

"A little science takes your religion from you; a great deal brings you back to it."

Scudery.

Snicker, without knowing whether the name is that of a man or a woman.

Sea.

Bottomless. Symbol of infinity. Induces deep thoughts. At the shore one should always have a good glass. While contemplating the sea, always exclaim: "Water, water everywhere."

Sealed.

Always preceded by "hermetically."

Seashells.

You must bring some back from the seashore.

Seasickness.

To avoid it, all you have to do is think of something else.

Secret funds.

Incalculable sums with which the ministers buy men. Wax indignant.

Selfishness.

Complain of other people's; overlook your own.

Self-seeking.

In the provinces, anyone who gets himself talked about. "I tell you, I have no secret ambitions" signifies fond of ease or without ability.

Seneca.

Wrote on a golden desk.

Serials (newspaper).

The cause of our present demoralization. Argue about the way the plot will come out. Write to the author suggesting ideas. Vent your fury when one of the characters bears your name.

Seville.

Famous for its barber. "See Seville and die." (See Naples.)

Sheep's gut.

Used only to make toy balloons.

Shells (artillery).

Designed to make clocks and inkwells.

Shepherds.

All sorcerers. Their speciality is conversing with the Virgin Mary.

Ships.

All the good ones are built at Bayonne.

Shoemaker.

Let the shoemaker stick to his last.

Shoe polish.

Only good when made at home.

Shoes (wooden).

All self-made men first arrived in Paris wearing wooden shoes.

Shotgun.

Always keep one in your country place.

Sigh.

Must be exhaled near a woman.

Singers.

Swallow a raw egg every morning to clear the voice. Tenors always have a "golden, bewitching voice"; baritones a "warm, well-placed voice"; basses "a powerful organ."

Single stick.

More to be feared than any sword.

Site.

Place for writing verses.

Skiff.

Any small boat with a woman in it. "Come into my little skiff..."

Skin (blotchy).

Sign of health. (See Pimples.)

Sleep.

Thickens the blood.

Snakes.

All "venomous."

Sneeze.

After saying "God bless you!" start discussing the origin of this custom. It is clever raillery to say: "Russian and Polish are not spoken, they are sneezed."

Society.

Its enemies. What destroys it.

Soil (the).

Grow tearful about it.

Solicitor.

More complimentary than lawyer. No longer to be trusted.

Solid.

Always followed by "as a rock."

Sombreuil (Mlle de).

Recall the glass of blood.

Somnambulist.

Walks at night on gabled roofs.

Son-in-law.

"My son, it's all off."

Southern cooking.

Always full of garlic. Thunder against.

Southerners.

All poets.

Spelling.

Believe it as absolute as mathematics. Useless if you have style.

Spinach.

Acts on your stomach like a broom. Never forget to repeat M. Prudhomme's famous remark: "I don't like it and am glad of it, because if I liked it I would eat it—and I can't stand it." (Some people will find this sensible enough and won't laugh.)

Spleen.

Formerly, runners had it removed.

Spurs.

Look well on boots.

Spy.

Always in high society. (See Crook.)

Squaring the circle.

Nobody knows what this is, but shrug your shoulders at any mention of it.

Stack (arms).

The hardest duty of the National Guard.

Stag dinner.

Calls for oysters, white wine and racy stories.

Stage coach.

Yearn for the stage-coach days.

Star.

Every one follows his own, like Napoleon.

Stark.

Whatever is antique is stark, and whatever is stark is antique. Bear this firmly in mind when buying antiques.

Stallion.

Always "fiery." A woman is not to know the difference between a stallion and a horse. A young girl must be told it is a larger type of horse.

Steeple (sight of, in native village).

Makes the heart beat faster.

Stiff.

Always followed by "and unbending."

Stockbrokers.

All thieves.

Stock exchange.

"Barometer of public opinion."

Stoicism.

Not feasible.

Stomach.

All diseases come from the stomach.

Stool-pigeons.

All in the pay of the police.

Strength.

Always "Herculean." "Might makes Right" (Bismarck).

Strollers.

All Parisians are. But nine out of ten Parisians are from the provinces. In Paris, everybody gorms, nobody works.

Strong.

"As a horse, an ox, a Turk, Hercules." "The fellow should be strong—he's all sinew."

Students.

All wear red berets and tight trousers, smoke pipes in the street—and never study.

Studs.

The keeping of studs—a fine subject for Parliamentary debate.

Suffrage (universal).

Highest reach of political science.

Suicide.

Proof of cowardice.

Summer.

Always "unusual." (See Winter.)

Suppers (of the Regency).

A greater flow of wit even than of champagne.

Surgeons.

Hard-hearted. Refer to them as butchers.

Swallows.

Never call them anything but "harbingers of Spring." Since nobody knows where they come from, say "far-off strand"—poetic.

Swan.

Sings just before it dies. Can break a man's leg with its wing. The Swan of Cambrai was not a bird but a man named Fenelon. The Swan of Mantua is Virgil. The Swan of Pesaro is Rossini.

Sword.

The only notable one is that of Damocles. Yearn for the time when swords were worn: "a fellow as trusty as his blade..." Sometimes, though, the sword was never put to use. "The French want to be governed by a sword."

Sybarites.

Thunder against.

Syphilis.

Everybody has it, more or less.