M

77 entries

Macadam.

Has put an end to revolutions: barricades no longer possible. Nevertheless not so convenient as before.

Macaroni.

When prepared in the Italian style, is served with the fingers.

Machiavelli.

Though you have not read him, consider him a scoundrel.

Machiavellian.

Word only to be spoken with a shudder.

Mackintosh.

Scottish philosopher; invented the raincoat.

Maestro.

Italian word meaning Pianist.

Magic.

Make fun of it.

Magnetism.

Fine topic of conversation, and one that will help you to "make" women.

Maid (the).

Used only to refer to Joan of Arc by adding "of Orleans."

Maid (house-).

All unsatisfactory. Servants are a thing of the past.

Major (army).

Only to be found in hotel dining rooms.

Make-up.

Ruins the skin.

Malacca.

A walking stick must be of malacca.

Malediction.

Always uttered by a father.

Malthus.

"That scoundrel Malthus."

Mamelukes.

Ancient people of the Orient (Egypt).

Mandolin.

Indispensable for seducing Spanish women.

Marble.

Every statue is of Parian marble.

Marseille (people of).

All great wits.

Martyrs.

All the early Christians were.

Mary Queen of Scots.

Pity her fate.

Mask.

Stimulates wit (at a ball).

Materialism.

Utter the word with horror, stressing each syllable.

Mathematics.

Dry up the emotions.

Mattress.

The harder the healthier.

Maxim.

Never new; always consoling.

May Bugs (or Cockchafers).

Harbingers of summer. Fine subject for a monograph. Their total extinction is the dream of every Prefet. When referring to them in a speech to the farmers' grange, you must call them "noxious coleoptera."

Mayor (of a village).

Always ridiculous. Thinks he has been insulted when called Alderman.

Mazarinades.

Despise them; no need to know any at first hand.

Mechanics.

Lower branch of mathematics.

Medals.

Made only in classical antiquity.

Medical students.

Sleep next to corpses. Some even eat them.

Medicine.

When in good health, make fun of it.

Meerschaum.

Found in the earth; used to make pipes.

Melancholy.

Sign of a refined heart and elevated mind.

Melodramas.

Less immoral than dramas.

Melon.

Nice topic for dinner-table conversation: is it a vegetable or a fruit? The English eat it for dessert, which is astounding.

Memory.

Complain of your own; indeed, boast of not having any. But roar like a bull if anyone says you lack judgment.

Mendicity.

Should be prohibited and never is.

Mephistophelian.

Applies to any bitter laugh.

Mercury.

Kills the patient with the disease.

Metallurgy.

Very swank.

Metamorphosis.

Make fun of the times when it was believed in. Ovid was the inventor.

Metaphors.

Always too many in poems. Always too many in anybody's writing.

Metaphysics.

Laugh it to scorn: proof of your superior intellect.

Method.

Of no use whatever.

Mexico.

"The Mexican expedition is the greatest idea of the present government" (Rouher).

Midnight.

The farthest boundary of honest pleasures; beyond it, whatever is done is immoral.

Milk.

Dissolves oysters, lures snakes, whitens the skin. Some women of Paris take milk baths daily.

Minister of State.

The highest reach of human glory.

Minute.

"Nobody has any idea how long a minute really is."

Missionaries.

All are eaten or crucified.

Missive.

Nobler than "letter."

Mistake.

"It's worse than a crime, it's a mistake" (Talleyrand). "There is not a mistake left to commit" (Thiers). These two remarks must be uttered with an air of profundity.

Mob.

Its instincts are always good. *Turba ruit or ruunt?* "The vile multitude" (Thiers). "The sacred mob overran the doorways..."

Modelling.

In front of a statue, say: "The modelling is not without charm."

Modesty.

Woman's great jewel.

Mole.

Blind as a mole. And yet moles have eyes.

Monarchy.

"A constitutional monarchy is the best of republics."

Money.

Cause of all evil. *Auri sacra fames.* The god of the day—but not the same as Apollo. Politicians call it emoluments; lawyers, retainer; doctors, fee; employers, wages; workmen, pay; servants, perquisites. "Money is not happiness."

Monkey.

"Offspring of a monk." Follower of St. Onan.

Monopoly (state).

Thunder against.

Monsters.

No longer extant.

Moon.

Induces melancholy. May be inhabited.

Moose.

Plural "meese"—an old chestnut but always good for a laugh.

Mosaic.

The secret of the art is lost.

Mosquito.

More dangerous than any wild beast.

Mountebank.

Always preceded by "cheap."

Muscles.

The muscles of strong men are always of steel.

Museum: Versailles.

Recalls the great days of the nation's history. A splendid idea of Louis Philippe's.

The Louvre.

To be avoided by young ladies.

Dupuytren.

Recommended for young men.

Mushrooms.

Should not be bought except at the grocer's.

Music.

Makes one think of a great many things. Makes a people gentle: e.g. "La Marseillaise."

Musician.

The characteristic of the true musician is to compose no music, to play no instrument and to despise virtuosos.

Mussels.

Always hard to digest.

Mustard.

Good only in Dijon. Ruins the stomach.