Complete Dictionary — 945 entries
← Front PageNo need to have any notion of his philosophy, nor even to know the titles of his works. Just refer discreetly to his mutilation by Fulbert. The grave of Abelard and Heloise: if someone tells you it is apocryphal, exclaim: "You rob me of my illusions!"
If he had worn a wig, Joab could not have murdered him. Facetious name for a bald friend.
Extra-violent poison: one glass and you're dead. Newspapermen drink it as they write their copy. Has killed more soldiers than the Bedouin.
Run it down, but try to belong to it if you can.
Always "regrettable" or "unlucky"—as if a mishap might sometimes be a cause for rejoicing.
Add "fleet of foot": people will think you've read Homer.
The ruin of young men of good family. Are fearfully lascivious; engage in "nameless orgies"; run through fortunes; end in the poorhouse. "I beg to differ, sir: some are excellent mothers!"
Always brave. Invariable swear-word: "Shiver my timbers!"
Large fortunes are made by it.
Come first. A woman must not refer to hers. The most important thing in life. Be-all and end-all.
One of the two nourishing breasts of the state (the state is masculine, but never mind). Should be encouraged. Short of hands.
Beware of drafts of air. The depths of the air are invariably unlike the surface. If the former are warm, the latter is cold, and vice versa.
Its use is to describe the most beautiful parts of a woman's body.
Always preceded by white, perfidious or Positivist. Napoleon only failed by a hair's breadth to conquer it. Praise it: "freedom-loving England."
Famous for his dog's tail. Typical debauchee. Consorted with Aspasia.
Cause of all modern diseases. (See Absinthe and Tobacco.)
Always preceded by "mad," unless it be "noble."
Famous examples of injustice: Columbus discovered it and it is named after Amerigo Vespucci. If it weren't for the discovery of America, we should not be suffering from syphilis and phylloxera. Exalt it all the same, especially if you've never been there. Lecture people on self-government.
You will know of only one, that of the Beaux-Arts School.
Mention him and his lion when someone speaks of animal tamers.
Eminently suitable for love and literature.
Stirs the blood; healthful to yield to it now and then.
"If only dumb animals could speak! So often more intelligent than men."
Model to cite in front of a spendthrift. Suggested the idea of savings banks.
Voltaire, Renan...
Always modern fakes.
Out of date, an awful bore.
Always in a mess, with feminine garments strewn about. Stale cigarette smoke. A search would reveal amazing things.
Always "perfect" or "diabolical."
"None to be had again this year."
On hearing his name, shout "Eureka!" Or else: "Give me a fulcrum and I will move the world." There is also Archimedes' screw, but you are not expected to know what it is.
All idiots: they always forget to put in the stairs.
There are but four architectural orders. Forgetting, of course, the Egyptian, Cyclopean, Assyrian, Hindoo, Chinese, Gothic, Romanesque, etc.
Despise and envy it.
The bulwark of society.
Found in everything. Bring up Mme. Lafarge. And yet certain peoples eat it.
Shortest path to the poorhouse. What use is it since machinery can make things better and quicker?
All charlatans. Praise their disinterestedness (old-fashioned). Express surprise that they dress like everyone else (old-fashioned). They earn huge sums and squander them. Often asked to dine out. Woman artist necessarily a whore. What artists do cannot be called work.
Animal known through Cleopatra's basket of figs.
Always a coward, even when he acted with daring and courage. Yet less reprehensible than a firebug.
Delightful science. Of use only to sailors. In speaking of it, make fun of astrology.
"A nation of atheists cannot survive."
One should "know a few," never mind their names.
Thunder against.
All self-centered, all rakes. Should be taxed. Headed for a lonely old age.
A slap on the back can start tuberculosis.
Town that is famous for its blind people.
Always "premature," caused by youthful excesses—or by the hatching of great thoughts.
Thanks to them, man will one day reach the moon. "But it will be many a day before you can steer them."
Use this word only as a swear word, and possibly not even then.
Always "fierce."
All millionaires. Levantines. Wolves.
"To go to the tonsorial artist"; "to patronize Figaro." Louis XI's barber. Formerly surgeons, used to bleed you.
I.e. property, the family, religion, respect for authority. Show anger if these are impugned.
Grandiose synonym for church. Always: "an impressive basilica."
The people who turn out the best runners.
Always "bloody." There are always two sets of victors: those who won and those who lost.
Word that stirs the fancy. All oriental women are bayaderes. (See Odalisques.)
Generally named Bruin. Tell the story of the invalid who, seeing that a watch had fallen into the bear pit, went down and was eaten alive.
Sign of strength. Grown too thick, will cause baldness. Helps protect neckcloth.
In an old chateau, Henry IV always spent one night there.
Do not drink beer if you wish to avoid colds.
Do not pronounce Beetoven. Be sure to gush when one of his works is being played.
Never use them.
Say "abdomen" in the presence of ladies.
The oldest book in the world.
Always too large.
A noble game. Indispensable in the country.
Aspire to become one, saying with a sigh: "Oh, for a pair of wings! Wings!"—it shows a poetic soul.
Follow invariably with "your hat" or "pitch." As for "jet black," what is jet?
Hotter than brunettes. (See Brunettes.)
Have yourself bled in the Spring.
Term of contempt applied to women with intellectual interests. Quote Moliere in support: "When the compass of her mind she stretches..."
Say this in English when it is for girls.
If we knew how our body is made, we wouldn't dare move.
Healthful. Inseparable from "broth and—."
See Pimples.
Always too long, regardless of subject.
In summer heat, never omit allusions to policemen's boots or postmen's shoes (permissible only in the country, in the open). Boots are the only elegant footgear.
No one knows what filth goes into it.
Never use to refer to a woman.
To have a strong breath is a sign of distinction. Fend off remarks about killing flies. Refer it to the stomach.
All good souls, but stubborn.
Metal of the classic centuries.
Hotter than blondes. (See Blondes.)
"False religion of India." (Definition in Bouillet's Dictionary, first edition.)
Never balanced.
Put on lace cuffs before writing.
Father of the calf; the ox is only the uncle.
Inspires awe, no matter what bureau he works in.
Too often premature. Tell stories of corpses that had eaten an arm off from hunger.
Appalling in times of revolution.
The goal of life.
Craftsman who works mostly in mahogany.
Wax indignant on hearing this word.
Has two humps and the dromedary one; or the camel has one and the dromedary two—it is confusing.
Always "disarming." One is either full of it or wholly without.
Affects the weather.
The air current it creates causes blindness.
Indispensable to the man of letters. Gives dignity to the face.
See Pimples.
It's better to rent than to own one—you're spared the bother about grooms and horses, who are always getting sick.
Spend their time making chartreuse, digging their own graves and saying to one another, "Brother, thou too must die."
Has invariably withstood a great siege under Philip Augustus.
Has had a good influence on art.
Are treacherous. Call them "the tiger in the house." Cut off their tails to prevent vertigo.
Grave insult, but in the grand style, to fling at a political opponent: "Sir, you are but a catspaw of the Presidential clique." Used only from the rostrum of the Chamber.
Nobler than the infantry.
Usual residence of robbers. Always full of snakes.
The huge one at the Botanical Garden was brought over in a man's hat.
Concern yourself about the least details of their private lives, so that you can run them down.
Always horrible. The straw is always damp. None has ever been found attractive.
"Say what you will, it's a good thing."
Human wax. Should not be removed; it keeps insects from entering the ear.
Prettier than their mistresses. Know all their secrets and betray them. Always undone by the son of the house.
The sign of a ceremonial dinner. Pretend to despise it, saying: "It's really not a wine." Arouses the enthusiasm of petty folk. Russia drinks more of it than France. Has been the medium for spreading French ideas throughout Europe. During the Regency people did nothing but drink champagne. But technically one doesn't drink it, one "samples" it.
Best known for the cut of meat that bears his name.
Is not dishonest; rather a proof of cleverness and political independence.
Quote Brillat-Savarin's maxim: "Dessert without cheese is like a beauty with only one eye."
Symbol of military tactics. All great generals good at chess. Too serious as a game, too pointless as a science.
Female of the horse-chestnut.
Meaning unknown.
Sign of health. Come from having warmed oneself after being cold.
Give signs of a passionate attachment to all children when others are looking on.
Always smokes. Center of discussion about heating systems.
"Winter's black swallow."
You catch it from eating melons. The cure is lots of tea with rum in it.
Freed the slaves.
Wouldn't be Christmas without the pudding.
Spoils the teeth.
Those sold under government monopoly always "a foul smoke"; the only good ones are smuggled in.
Use obscene practices.
Thunder against apropos of street paving: "What can our city fathers be thinking of!"
Playing it causes blindness: all blind men play the clarinet.
You are supposed to know all about them.
All from Elbeuf.
His joints were made so in infancy.
One should always belong to a club.
Rouses ire of conservatives. Confusion and argument about the right pronunciation of the word.
A thin man must invariably say: "Fighting cocks are never fat!"
Induces wit. Good only if it comes through Havre. After a big dinner party, is taken standing up. Take it without sugar—very swank: gives the impression you've lived in the East.
Most harmful. Excellent for certain diseases. A good swig of cognac never hurt anybody. Taken before breakfast, kills intestinal worms.
Words to avoid. Say: "They had relations..."
Inseparable from Littleton. Nobody knows what they did, but say to every law student: "You must be deep in your Coke upon Littleton."
Healthier than heat.
Register sadness in speaking of them.
Makes the hair fall out.
In verse, no longer suited to our times. Still, high comedy commands respect—*castigat ridendo mores*.
Make fun of our ancestors who feared them.
The most valuable discovery of modern times.
One's first communion—the greatest day of one's life.
The soul of trade.
At school, a good composition shows application, whereas translation shows intelligence. Out in the world, scoff at those who were good at composition.
Always recommend it, even when the alternatives are irreconcilable.
Respectable way to kill time.
Never make any: they ruined Louis XVI.
Priest's word for carnal desire.
All the inhabitants of Rouen are confectioners.
Avoid the word; replace by "event": "When is the event expected?"
Always "hearty," "sincere," etc.
Politician with pot belly. "A limited, conservative mind? Certainly! Limits keep fools from falling down wells."
It is imperative to subscribe to its concerts.
They feel a compulsion to write down their names on a list.
All literary men are constipated. This affects their politics.
Are stifling us—under them it is impossible to govern.
Always take one after dinner: aids digestion.
Meaning unknown.
Politics and religion must be kept out of it.
Always look it. All clever with their hands. Our penitentiaries number many a man of genius.
In restaurants, always bad for the system; at home, always wholesome; in the South, too much spice, or oil.
Pretend not to know what it is for.
Better than a barometer. Extremely dangerous if badly cut. Cite dreadful examples of fatal consequences.
Prevents childbearing.
Eat tallow candles.
Especially useful for putting in one's ear. One of the bases of society in the department of Seine-Inferieure.
Always work below ground.
People in the country better than those in towns. Envy their lot. In the country, anything goes—sloppy clothes, practical jokes, etc.
Speak of them only with loftiest contempt.
Advise the young husband to beware of the young (male) cousin.
Female of the lobster. Walks backward. Always call reactionaries "crayfish."
Lives in a hammock.
Always "vile."
Nobler word than red.
Always "eminent." Supposed to know everything, read everything, see everything. When you dislike him, call him a Zoilus, a eunuch.
Imitates the cry of a child to lure men.
Always in high society. (See Spy.)
The ideal occasion to bring up the story of William Tell.
Looks well above a bedstead—or the guillotine.
Benefited Venetian trade.
Every woman is expected to make her husband a cuckold.
The best comes from Holland, because it is made in Curacao, one of the Antilles.
The more complicated, the more beautiful.
Rebel against, and try to cheat them. (See Tolls.)
Excellent for a shop-sign; inspires confidence.
Grows only in cemeteries.
Pronounce Tsar, and from time to time, Autocrat.
Will replace painting. (See Photography.)
The only place where the art of making swords is understood. Every good blade is from Damascus.
"It isn't dancing any more, it's tramping about."
"Let us dare, and dare again, and forever dare."
The fellow who says we're sprung from monkeys.
The master has days: for trimming the beard, for taking a purge, etc. And so has Madame, days which she calls "critical" at certain times of the month.
Cause of all diseases in bachelors.
The Legion of Honor; make fun of it, but covet it. When you obtain it, say it was unsolicited.
Is sustained, and is so utter that no one is left to tell the tale.
Wax indignant, despite the infrequency of the crime.
More swank than "china."
Never made a speech without a pebble in his mouth.
All untruthful. They use "steel balm." Are said to be also chiropodists. Pretend to be surgeons, just as opticians pretend to be physicists.
Third set of teeth. Take care not to swallow while asleep.
Racing term: very swank.
*Cogito ergo sum.*
Produces dates.
Deplore fact that people no longer sing at dessert. Virtuous persons scorn dessert: "Pastry! Good Lord, no! I never take it."
Obscene word.
Complain of others' lack of it. "We have far less than a dog."
"The time will come when man will manufacture them!" "Believe it or not, they're nothing but a piece of coal; if we came across one in the natural state, we wouldn't bother to pick it up!"
Goddess of the chaste (chased).
Say of it: "It's only for ignoramuses!" A rhyming dictionary?—For shame!
Always followed by "d'Alembert."
Wealthy man who subscribes to the opera.
Always tell a pretty girl that little loves are hiding in her dimples.
Formerly people dined at noon. Now they dine at impossible hours. The dinner of our fathers' time is our lunch, and our lunch is their dinner; but dining so late shouldn't be called dinner: it's supper.
In the provinces, the acme of ceremony and inconvenience.
"I am looking for a man." "Don't stand between me and the sun."
Emblem of knowledge. Proves nothing.
A distinguished career, but beset with difficulties and full of mystery. Suited only to aristocrats. A profession of vague import, though higher than trade. Diplomats are invariably subtle and shrewd.
The scandals of the time: "In those days, honor had taken refuge in the army; women in Paris went about naked."
Rejoice when it leaves the affected part, and express astonishment that the human body can contain so much matter.
An outrage upon the majesty of death.
Always preceded by "rare."
All women singers must be called divas.
Perfect eyesight has them built in.
"If Napoleon had not divorced Josephine, he would still be on the throne."
The name of an oriental dance.
Appalling in times of revolution.
Always preceded by "the good." Among men, in familiar conversation, "Oh! balls, doctor!" Is a wizard when he enjoys your confidence, a jackass when you're no longer on terms. All are materialists: "You can't probe for faith with a scalpel."
Despise them. Why? Nobody can say.
Invariably "of the highest importance."
Specially created to save its master's life; man's best friend.
Wedded the sea. Only one is known—Marino Faliero.
Has to do with the old Gauls. Stone used for human sacrifice. Found only in Brittany. Knowledge ends there.
Carries children on its back.
Tower with an architectural shape. Express surprise that it stays up. Two can be named: the Dome of the Invalides; that of St. Peter's in Rome.
Never fail to speak of it with respect.
One plays all the better for being tight.
Always "spacious and airy." Preferable to single rooms for the morals of the pupils.
Worse than outright negation.
"Consists of three things: line, stippling and fine stippling. There is, in addition, the masterstroke; but the masterstroke can only be given by the master" (Christophe).
"Perfectly dreadful"—when alluding to words of erotic import: one may commit the act, but not speak of it. "It was at the darkest of a dreadful night."
Any great ideas one does not understand.
Always come from Rouen.
Thunder against. No proof of courage. Great prestige of the man who has fought a duel.
Gives rise to gloomy thoughts.
Better be a knave than a dupe.
Famous for his salve and his museum.
Require them of others. Avoid them yourself. Others have duties towards us, not we towards them.
Tell the story of General Tom Thumb; if by any chance you shook his hand, boast of the fact.
To be one, a sign of good morals. If one goes to bed at four in the morning and rises at eight, one is lazy; but if one goes to bed at nine in the evening and gets up the next day at five, one is a hardy type.
Refer to its four corners since it is round.
Mention the one in the Pantheon and the one under the bridge at Neuilly.
Thunder against as being an immoral philosophy.
Starting point for a philosophic lecture on the origin of life.
Have remarkable memories; worship the sun.
Sign of elegant leisure, of utter laziness.
"Kiss" is more decent. A kiss is "gently stolen"; also "bestowed"—upon the damsel's brow, the mother's cheek, the pretty woman's hand, the child's neck and the mistress's lips.
Earned their livelihood by teaching the guitar and waiting on table.
Used only for Abd-el-Kadr.
"The Empire means Peace" (Napoleon III).
All beautiful.
The secret of this art is lost.
Laugh at it pityingly for being quaint and old-fashioned; even so: thunder against.
The finest career for a young man; he learns all the sciences.
All millionaires.
Express surprise that they can have good-looking children.
Obscene word.
Called forth exclusively by the return of Napoleon's ashes. Always "indescribable": the newspaper takes two columns to tell you so.
Despise him.
Reserved exclusively for women.
Still going strong, since every new government begins by promising to "call a halt."
Said only of monuments.
Bring up in any conversation about the fires of the Commune.
Only found near the Invalides.
All antique vases are Etruscan.
The easiest thing in the world, with a little Latin and ingenuity.
Never can have children... Fulminate against the castrati singers of the Sistine Chapel.
Usually "copious"; always "of an alarming sort."
Are decent only in the country.
Is "plain" when not "overwhelming."
Continually at its height.
Say it proves the rule, but don't venture to explain how.
Deplore the women who go to them.
Prevents all diseases. Recommend it at all times.
Verb applied exclusively to newspaper subscriptions.
Applies only to the national debt.
Verb applied only to heresy and corns.
Great men look well when sculptured in front of.
The mirror of the soul. Hence some people's souls must be rather ugly.
Dangerous neighborhood.
Inseparable from "dog" and "friend." Never miss a chance to quote: "True as a needle to the pole" and "Among the faithless, faithful only he."
"Vanity of vanities."
Always "loud."
Work a sob into your voice in speaking of Napoleon's farewell at Fontainebleau.
When visiting a farm, one must eat nothing but rye bread and drink nothing but milk. If eggs are added exclaim: "Heavens, but they're fresh! Not a chance you'd find any like these in the city!"
Always "Squire" So-and-so. All easy-going.
What would we do without them?
Fat people do not need to learn to swim. Are the despair of executioners owing to the difficulty they present; e.g. la Du Barry.
A wholly romantic word. Applied to a man, signifies one with the evil eye.
It is doing children a favor to slap them; animals, to beat them; servants, to fire them; criminals, to punish them.
Gives wings.
Always "perfect." If your cook is named Felicity, she is perfect.
Use only in speaking of animals. Contrary to what obtains in the human race, the females of animals are less beautiful than the males, e.g. pheasant, rooster, lion, etc.
Fencing masters know secret thrusts.
No need to have one single precise notion about it: thunder against.
A sign of the strength of the blood. Caused by prunes, melons, the sun in April, etc.
Another of the causes of the Revolution!
Emblem of virility in the art of sculpture.
God's finger is in every pie.
Sign of wealth in the household.
Purifies everything. On hearing the cry of "Fire!" begin by losing your head. A spectacle worth seeing.
Nobler than the guillotine. Delight of the man who is granted the favor of facing one.
The sight of it makes the heart beat faster.
Always use the Latin phrase. Applies only to adultery.
A bird, so called because native to Flanders.
Never miss the chance to quote: "By God, I cannot flatter"; and "Every flatterer lives off the fool who listens to him."
*Puer abige muscas.*
Always along the Loire.
Any anatomical specimen preserved in spirits of wine.
In boarding schools, always "wholesome and plentiful."
Wide and bald, a sign of genius, or of self-confidence.
A fad for everything foreign: a sign of a liberal mind; contempt for whatever is not French: a sign of patriotism.
Should always be of silver—it's less dangerous. Use it in the left hand, it is easier and more distinguished.
She was a beautiful woman. That is all you need to know.
*Audaces fortuna juvat.* The rich are happy, they have money. When told of any large fortune, always put in, "Yes, but is it secure?"
A proof of the Flood. A joke in good taste when alluding to a member of the Academy.
All news is without—.
More to be feared than the enemy.
Yet another cause of the Revolution. The initiation is a fearful ordeal. Cause of dissension among married pairs. Distrusted by the clergy. What can its great secret be?
Cause of all business troubles.
The leading people in the world. "It means only one more Frenchman" (said the Comte d'Artois). How proud one is to be French when gazing at the Colonne Vendome.
Always pronounce *furia francese*.
No longer done.
Only good in the country.
Female of the toad.
Nobody knows what it consists in, but you must assert that it is extremely difficult and extremely dull.
Nice verb.
About the deceased: "To think that I had dinner with him a week ago." Called obsequies if it's a general; inhumation if it's a philosopher.
Should be used on all occasions: "How funny!"
Token of wealth.
Be apprehensive—every kind of mishap can happen to yours.
Of the two branches of the royal family: keep hoping for it.
Always preceded by "mad."
According to circumstances, pronounce "galantuomo" or "gentleman."
Use this term in speaking of German journalists.
Good only when high.
Always from Paris. Don't let your wife say: "When I feel gay, I love to act like a gamin."
Wax indignant at this fatal passion.
More natural than French ones.
Kills intestinal worms and incites to amorous jousting. Henry IV's lips were rubbed with it at birth.
At twenty, one can be very happy there.
Always to be worn above the knee by society women; below it by women of the people. A woman must never neglect this point of dress—there are so many ill-bred men in the world.
Always "brave." Generally doing something other than his job, such as being an ambassador, alderman or head of the state.
A socialistic idea.
No point admiring—it's a neurosis.
Meaning unknown.
There aren't any left.
"Travelling on strange seas of thought—alone..."
Always preceded by "blond," "dreamy"—but how efficient their army! A people of metaphysicians (old-fashioned). "It's no wonder they beat us, we weren't ready!"
Fierce expression of unknown meaning, though it is known to refer to the Orient.
Foreigners' way of talking. Always make fun of the foreigner who murders French.
It isn't the value that gives it price, or rather, not the price that gives it value. The gift is nothing, it's the thought behind it.
Polite word to avoid calling a woman an old cow.
"More sinned against than sinning."
Genteel way of referring to a woman's breasts: "May I be permitted to kiss those adorable globes?"
Never without its Consolation.
Confer respectability.
A tapestry of this kind is an amazing piece of work, it takes fifty years to make. On seeing it, exclaim: "It is more beautiful than a painting!" The workman does not even know what he is about.
Voltaire himself admitted it: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."
The essence of the English language, as Beaumarchais said. Snicker patronizingly.
Always the actual father of the godchild.
Pronounced, in Beranger's verses, "God save te King."
Always goes with Magog.
Dominical letter, etc. Shown on all calendars but nobody knows what they mean.
Has to do with antiquity. (The way the ancients tied their neckties.)
Divine, sublime, (and so forth), works.
Architectural style which inspires religious feeling to a greater degree than others.
Disturbing to the fancy.
Teach it to children in earliest youth as something clear and easy.
All pedants.
The only way to make the Parisians shut up.
Don't mention it.
Always the color of stone walls, for amorous adventures.
Whatever one cannot understand is Greek.
There aren't any left. This is to be said with the discomfited air of the hunter who says there is no more game.
Not respectable.
At some time or other a big banquet or notable party was given there. What you see is like organ pipes. During the Revolution, Mass was celebrated there in secret.
Suitable for a mantelpiece or in politics.
The guard will die but won't surrender: seven words to stand for five letters.
Does more harm to the enemy than the regular forces.
Hold them up as examples to your children.
Famous Norwegian town, recently discovered.
Term used by fierce republicans to designate police officers.
Branch of the Comedie Francaise.
Second nature. School habits are bad habits. Given the right habits one could play the violin like Paganini.
Confuse with eunuch.
Not suitable for men.
Always from Mainz. But watch out for trichinosis.
A touching word in literature; effective in poetry.
Characteristic of creole women. Indispensable in a garden. Persuade yourself that it is more comfortable than a bed.
To govern France, must be of iron; to have a beautiful hand means to have a fine handwriting.
A neat hand leads to the top. Undecipherable: a sign of deep science, e.g. doctors' prescriptions.
Trade handed down from father to son.
Always add "as iron." There is also "hard as rock," but that is much less forceful.
Sleeps with its eyes open.
Always compare a cock amid the hens to a sultan in his harem. Every college boy dreams of this.
Gives out celestial harmonies. In engravings, is only played next to ruins or on the edge of a torrent. Shows off the arm and hand.
Do not confuse with hash, which produces no voluptuous sensations whatever.
Complain of their shape.
People have no idea how strong it is—stronger than iron.
Excess of health causes illness.
Always "unbearable." Do not drink on hot days.
Cite as a warning to your son, though you would be hard put to it to show him any.
Come from sitting on stoves and stone benches. St. Fiacre's evil. A sign of health—hence do not try to rid yourself of them.
When mentioned, do not fail to say: "All the Henrys were unfortunate!"
A type from the North.
Arouse unwholesome curiosity. Try to see one.
Everybody has one without knowing it.
To be "as old as Herod."
"The wealth of Holland."
Not to be tolerated.
To cure, place a large key in the middle of the back, or cause fright.
Language of the ancient Egyptians, invented by the priests to conceal their shameful secrets. "Just think! There are people who understand hieroglyphics! But after all, the whole thing may be a hoax..."
Always to be cited in Latin because he wrote in Greek, except in the maxim: "Hippocrates says Yes, but Galen says No."
His death the most beautiful narrative subject that can be assigned in class. Everyone should know the piece by heart.
Always a castle inviolate. However, the police and the judiciary can enter whenever they please. "Going back to my hearth and home; to my fireside."
Never existed. Famous for his laughter.
Say: "*Ecce homo!*" on the arrival of any person whom one is expecting.
When mentioned, misquote: "But he that filches from me my good name doth make me poor indeed." One must always be concerned about one's own, and not greatly concerned about others'.
Lovely effect in the woods, and at night across the water.
If they knew their strength, they would not let themselves be led. Horsemeat: excellent subject for a pamphlet by a man seeking a reputation. Racehorse; despise it—of what use is it?
Must always be Scottish. Quote: "In Scotland, hospitality when sought is given and never bought."
Sounds well in a remark on the Near East question.
Hostilities are like oysters, they have to be opened. "Open hostilities" sounds as if one ought to sit down at table.
Are only good in Switzerland.
"Made a sad mistake, really, when he entered politics."
Cause of every disease.
Are very witty. Much sought after by lascivious women.
Good exercise, which one must pretend to love. Part of the royal state. The judiciary rave about it.
Pronounce hoozar. Always preceded by "handsome" or "dashing." Attracts the ladies. Never fail to hum: "You who know a young hussar..."
Of anarchy, socialism, and so on of all alarming systems. We must try and conquer it.
Cure and cause of every known disease.
Must be maintained. Prevents illness, except when it provokes it.
Use the word in calling for the reform of the law governing mortgages; very swank.
Often "rash," always "bold."
Confuse with nymphomania.
All Neapolitans.
It is dangerous to eat them.
The best of the philosophic systems.
Perfectly useless.
Every newspaperman is an ideologist.
Those who differ with you.
Are cannibals too.
Always followed by "Odyssey."
A doctor's prescription should be. Likewise one's signature—it shows one is swamped with correspondence.
Pretend to have had a great many, regret that you have lost them all.
Always "lively." Be on guard against it. When lacking in oneself, attack it in others. To write a novel, all you need is imagination.
Distinctly enunciated, this word confers prestige on the user.
All honest, polite, peaceable, charming people.
Thunder against.
Canker at the heart of Trade.
Artist's word meaning Manager. Always preceded by "clever."
Cause for rejoicing.
Always "notorious." The more incompetent one is, the more ambitious one ought to be.
The dress of princes on their travels.
Applies only to mother-of-pearl.
Made of horse's scrotum.
Product of warm climates.
See Trade.
Committed only by the lower classes.
Meaning unknown, but it has to do with homeopathy.
The ideal gift for a doctor.
Make fun of them.
Proved by unshakable calm.
Always "dangerous."
Its crimes have been exaggerated.
Always "cuneiform."
Brought on by: a sight of the sea, love, women, etc.
Does duty for intelligence.
The members are all old men who wear green eye-shades.
If used to commit a crime, always "blunt"—unless it happens to be sharp.
Must always be washed out in blood.
"The holiest of duties" (Blanqui).
Found particularly in judges.
Invariably long.
Always preceded by "mad."
The gateway to everything.
Obscene word.
To raise his spirits, pooh-pooh his ailment and discount the story of his suffering.
Brings tears to your eyes.
All die in the poorhouse. "The wrong man profits by their genius—it isn't fair."
All musical. All treacherous.
Should be seen immediately after marriage. Is very disappointing—not nearly so beautiful as people say.
Refers only to teeth.
Meaning unknown, but any reference to it is swank.
Everything there is made of china.
All vases in museums are of jasper.
As good as a gun if you only know how to throw it.
Always preceded by "frenzied." Fearsome passion. Eyebrows that meet in the middle a sign of jealousy.
Have a hand in every revolution. Nobody has any idea how numerous they are. Do not refer to the "battle of the Jesuits."
Always call him M. Josse.
"Sons of Israel." All Jews are spectacle vendors.
Deplore the breed.
Its members are all gay, young dogs and very wealthy. Say simply, "The Jockey"—very swank: implies you belong.
When an Englishman's name is not known, he is called John Bull.
The mother of fun and games. Never mention her daughters.
An excellent career if one wants to marry an heiress. All judges are pederasts. The robe inspires respect.
Made of an unknown substance.
Do everything you can to get off it.
Disbelieve it.
Never worry about it.
Used only to describe picture exhibitions.
Ought to be found on every drawing-room table.
Case designed to hold marshal's baton.
To be called Catalonian when the blade is long; called dagger when used to commit a crime.
Word that offends the Russians.
Book entirely about women, by Mohammed.
Have one on your country place.
Idiom no longer spoken.
Deny their existence, since it is obviously impossible to live under water.
Always come first. "God bless them!" Never say: "Your good lady is in the drawing-room."
Never give a commencement address without referring to "you young lads" (which is tautological).
General who is famous for his white horse.
Maintain that you have never read his Tales. Call him "the good La Fontaine," "the immortal maker of fables."
City on the Adriatic.
Have a woman with you when you sail on it.
Always carry one in your pocket, but think twice before using it.
The human race is divided into two classes: landlords and tenants.
Always so much spinach.
Our country's ills are due to our ignorance of them.
"My late father"—then you raise your hat.
Indispensable for rainy days in the country. Have one in the attic.
The natural speech of man. Spoils one's style. Of use only for reading mottoes on public buildings. Watch how you quote Latin tags—they all have something risque in them.
Always "Homeric."
Keep a man from sleeping.
Used only of the ceremonial Washing of the Feet.
Nobody knows what it is.
Too many in Parliament. Their judgment is warped. Of a lawyer who is a poor speaker, say: "Yes, but he knows his books."
You can walk a league faster than three miles.
Make fun of. All it takes to be learned is a good memory and hard work.
Despise it as the sign of a narrow mind. Let on that you have a fair share. The common people do not need it to earn their daily bread.
It all comes from Russia.
Formidable fencers. Much more deft than those who use the right hand.
At bottom is only a health measure.
Some cases are known that lasted for years.
Found only in big cities.
"Liberty, what crimes are committed in thy name!" "We enjoy all the liberty we need." "Liberty is not licence" (conservative tag).
Always have one at home, particularly if you live in the country.
Always say: "*Fiat lux*" as you light a candle.
Forerunners of liberalism in France.
Delightful because it means summer is here.
To be well dressed, one cannot display too much—or enough.
Generous animal. Always plays with a large ball. "Well-roared, lion!" "To think that lions and tigers are just cats!"
Idle pastime.
Snicker on hearing his name: "the gentleman who thinks we are descended from the apes."
Must be said of any work of art that the Figaro will not let you admire.
Must contain a lock of hair or a photograph.
Wealthy Englishman.
Insolent and distinguished.
Always: "that unfortunate monarch."
Speaking of a lucky man: "He was born tagged." You will not know what you are talking about and neither will your listener.
"Come aboard my lugger, black-eyed maid of Athens..." (parlor song).
The downfall of great states.
Animal renowned for its eye.
Has put an end to revolutions: barricades no longer possible. Nevertheless not so convenient as before.
When prepared in the Italian style, is served with the fingers.
Though you have not read him, consider him a scoundrel.
Word only to be spoken with a shudder.
Scottish philosopher; invented the raincoat.
Italian word meaning Pianist.
Make fun of it.
Fine topic of conversation, and one that will help you to "make" women.
Used only to refer to Joan of Arc by adding "of Orleans."
All unsatisfactory. Servants are a thing of the past.
Only to be found in hotel dining rooms.
Ruins the skin.
A walking stick must be of malacca.
Always uttered by a father.
"That scoundrel Malthus."
Ancient people of the Orient (Egypt).
Indispensable for seducing Spanish women.
Every statue is of Parian marble.
All great wits.
All the early Christians were.
Pity her fate.
Stimulates wit (at a ball).
Utter the word with horror, stressing each syllable.
Dry up the emotions.
The harder the healthier.
Never new; always consoling.
Harbingers of summer. Fine subject for a monograph. Their total extinction is the dream of every Prefet. When referring to them in a speech to the farmers' grange, you must call them "noxious coleoptera."
Always ridiculous. Thinks he has been insulted when called Alderman.
Despise them; no need to know any at first hand.
Lower branch of mathematics.
Made only in classical antiquity.
Sleep next to corpses. Some even eat them.
When in good health, make fun of it.
Found in the earth; used to make pipes.
Sign of a refined heart and elevated mind.
Less immoral than dramas.
Nice topic for dinner-table conversation: is it a vegetable or a fruit? The English eat it for dessert, which is astounding.
Complain of your own; indeed, boast of not having any. But roar like a bull if anyone says you lack judgment.
Should be prohibited and never is.
Applies to any bitter laugh.
Kills the patient with the disease.
Very swank.
Make fun of the times when it was believed in. Ovid was the inventor.
Always too many in poems. Always too many in anybody's writing.
Laugh it to scorn: proof of your superior intellect.
Of no use whatever.
"The Mexican expedition is the greatest idea of the present government" (Rouher).
The farthest boundary of honest pleasures; beyond it, whatever is done is immoral.
Dissolves oysters, lures snakes, whitens the skin. Some women of Paris take milk baths daily.
The highest reach of human glory.
"Nobody has any idea how long a minute really is."
All are eaten or crucified.
Nobler than "letter."
"It's worse than a crime, it's a mistake" (Talleyrand). "There is not a mistake left to commit" (Thiers). These two remarks must be uttered with an air of profundity.
Its instincts are always good. *Turba ruit or ruunt?* "The vile multitude" (Thiers). "The sacred mob overran the doorways..."
In front of a statue, say: "The modelling is not without charm."
Woman's great jewel.
Blind as a mole. And yet moles have eyes.
"A constitutional monarchy is the best of republics."
Cause of all evil. *Auri sacra fames.* The god of the day—but not the same as Apollo. Politicians call it emoluments; lawyers, retainer; doctors, fee; employers, wages; workmen, pay; servants, perquisites. "Money is not happiness."
"Offspring of a monk." Follower of St. Onan.
Thunder against.
No longer extant.
Induces melancholy. May be inhabited.
Plural "meese"—an old chestnut but always good for a laugh.
The secret of the art is lost.
More dangerous than any wild beast.
Always preceded by "cheap."
The muscles of strong men are always of steel.
Recalls the great days of the nation's history. A splendid idea of Louis Philippe's.
To be avoided by young ladies.
Recommended for young men.
Should not be bought except at the grocer's.
Makes one think of a great many things. Makes a people gentle: e.g. "La Marseillaise."
The characteristic of the true musician is to compose no music, to play no instrument and to despise virtuosos.
Always hard to digest.
Good only in Dijon. Ruins the stomach.
In talking to scholars, always say: Parthenopeia. "See Naples and die." (See Yvetot.)
How beautiful is Nature! Repeat every time you are in the country.
Always "bold."
It is proper to blow one's nose in it.
Confuse with ambrosia.
Hotter than white women. (See Blondes and Brunettes.)
Express surprise that their saliva is white and that they can speak French.
Try to have them do you favors without its costing you anything.
The ruin of the French language.
Is said every time a disease baffles comprehension—it gives satisfaction to the listener.
Always put on—an act.
Journalists: when you add "yellow," that is the depth of contempt.
One can't do without—but must be thundered against. Their importance in modern society, e.g. the Figaro. Serious sheets: *Revue des Deux Mondes*, *L'Economiste*, the *Journal des Debats*. You must leave them about in your drawing room, taking care to cut the pages open beforehand. Marking certain passages in blue pencil is also impressive. In the morning, read an article in one of these grave and solid journals; in the evening, in company, bring the conversation around to the subject, and shine.
Come from the stomach.
Believe that they talk with a broad a and kid them about their nightcaps.
When flaring, a sign of lasciviousness.
Corrupt the masses. Are less immoral in serial than in volume form. Only historical novels should be allowed, because they teach history. Some novels are written with the point of a scalpel. Others revolve on the point of a needle.
Related to the abstruse sciences; inspires deepest respect.
An inn in the desert.
All scientific words derived from Greek and Latin conceal an obscenity.
Applies to any elderly man.
All women in the Orient are odalisques. (See Bayaderes.)
Joke about its remoteness.
A sign of health.
On hearing his name, hold two fingers of the right hand close together, to preserve yourself from the evil eye; it looks very fashionable and Parisian.
Always "prematurely."
In times of flood, thunderstorm, etc., the oldest inhabitants cannot remember ever having seen a worse one.
Never good. You should have a friend in Marseille who sends you a small barrel of it.
Second letter of the Greek alphabet, since everybody always says: "The alpha and omega of..."
Never a seat to be found. Were invented by Louis XIV. "Let me tell you, sir, that I can remember tricycles when they had only three wheels."
Mohammed's heaven on earth.
Synonym for imbecile.
Any sermon of Bossuet's.
Symbol of society: each plays his part and there is a leader.
Gentleman's disease.
How many crimes are committed in thy name! (See Liberty.)
Lifts the soul upwards to God.
Far-flung traveller.
Make fun of everything that is original, hate it, beat it down, annihilate it if you can.
Will digest a stone.
Created to make caps and waistcoats.
Nobody eats them any more: too expensive!
Never tuned his violin. Famous for his long fingers.
Lends authority. Strikes the imagination of the masses. We need more of it, more of it.
Always has favorable by-products. When genuine, its expression is always subdued.
The secret of the art is lost.
A white animal of the middle ages whose breed is extinct.
Ancient fortress.
Supplies local color.
An Egyptian queen? Famous ruins? Nobody knows.
No longer done.
Thunder against. An absurdity.
Always originates "on the Boulevards, between two puffs on a cigarette."
The choice is as follows: Caesar and Pompey, Horace and Virgil, Voltaire and Rousseau, Napoleon and Charlemagne, Goethe and Schiller, Bayard and MacMahon...
The great whore. Heaven for women, hell for horses.
He who can sing parlor songs "kills" the ladies.
Wax indignant at such a shot, though it is in fact thoroughly legitimate.
"Shameful" to some, "natural" to others.
Always mention Thermopylae. The Vosges are the Thermopylae of France. (This was often said in 1870.)
Abode of bliss in a garden.
Should be run down, unless it applies to trifles.
Disease that afflicts all men of a certain age.
Tears its breast to nourish its young. Symbol of the paterfamilias.
Country in which everything is made of gold.
Sign of health.
Inventor of the carriage named after him.
Very swank at a dinner.
Thunder against. Another of those causes of the Revolution. He committed all the crimes of that dismal period.
Always snicker at it.
Good form. Makes you look English. Goes with "imperturbable."
Fine name for a Fire Insurance Company.
Will make painting obsolete. (See Daguerreotype.)
Cannot be overdone. Exhausting for children.
Indispensable in a drawing room.
Always talk pidgin to make yourself understood by a foreigner, regardless of nationality. Use also for telegrams.
Its insides being "identical with those of man" should be used to teach anatomy.
Eat it only with peas.
At sight of a dark cloud, do not fail to say: "It's going to rain pikestaffs." In Switzerland every man carries a pikestaff.
Never use a pillow: it will make you into a hunchback.
On the face or anywhere else, a sign of health and "strong blood." Do not try to get rid of them.
Not proper except at the seaside.
Always avoid feeling it.
All discovered by M. Leverrier.
Always cures those parts of the body that it resembles.
The heart of any play.
All ex-convicts. Commit all the crimes in the neighborhood. Must arouse in you a frenzy of fury: "No quarter, my dear sir, no quarter!"
Pock-marked women are all lascivious.
Pompous synonym for fool, dreamer.
Entirely useless; out of date.
Always in the wrong.
Bulwark of society. Don't say "the police" but "guardians of law and order" or "the constabulary."
Dismal science.
If you cut the hair it bleeds.
The only poet who had good sense.
To care for them makes all other virtues needless.
Inventor of a kind of circle.
Stories of pates made of human flesh. All pork-butchers have pretty wives.
Carry one under your arm: makes you look like a member of the Cabinet.
Very swank topic of conversation.
Always apply for one.
Always apply one while waiting for the doctor.
Always play practical jokes when going on a picnic with ladies.
Superior to theory.
Never forgive him for having been Racine's rival.
Nobody knows what it is.
Very swank in formal speeches: "Within these precincts, gentlemen..."
Is active and fruitful in proportion to one's immobility, which in turn is caused by the depth of one's absorption.
Swanker than "boarding school."
Used for whatever is beautiful. "It's mighty pretty" is the acme of admiration.
A cult of ancient times.
"Art, medicine, etc. are so many priestly callings."
Should be castrated. Sleep with their housekeepers and give them children whom they fob off as their nephews. "Never mind! There are honest ones too."
Always "eternal." Nobody can tell their nature or number; no matter, they are sacred all the same.
One must believe whatever is in print. To see one's name in print!—some people commit a crime for no other reason.
Marvellous invention. Has done more harm than good.
"Need only be stated to be solved."
Always "the learned."
Always "headlong" and "ill-advised."
Commands the future of machinery.
One of the foundations of society. More sacred than religion.
Easier to write than verse.
Find them beautiful in nature, dark in politics.
A necessary evil. A protection for our daughters and sisters, as long as we have bachelors. Should be harried without pity. It's impossible to go out with one's wife owing to the presence of these women on the boulevards. Are always poor girls seduced by wealthy bourgeois.
"Where should we be without it?"
Keep the bowels loose.
A sign of revelry in the house, indispensable on Christmas eve.
Suitable for a stag dinner. Cause of mad gaiety. Put out the light when setting it aflame; it will make fantastic shadows.
Useless edifice.
Always made of cat.
Naughty boy!
All the more dangerous that it is latent. The Republic is hurtling forward into radicalism.
Always "of the Medusa."
If Napoleon had had them, he would have been invincible. Talk about them ecstatically, saying: "I, my dear sir, who am speaking to you now—this morning I was at X; I had taken the X train, I transacted my business there, and by X o'clock I was back here."
Gape with admiration; cite them as architectural wonders.
See Blondes, Brunettes and Negresses.
Always the best.
Always a nuisance. Keep the poor ones out of sight.
Part of the foundations of society. Is necessary for the common people. Yet we mustn't overdo it. "The religion of our fathers...": this must be uttered with unction.
To be elected—the height of glory. Thunder against the Chamber of Deputies. "Too many talkers there, they never do anything."
"The republicans are not all scoundrels, but all scoundrels are republicans."
You should order the dishes not usually served at home. When uncertain, look at what others around you are eating.
"A good time was had by all. Most of us will never forget it." It never breaks up without plans being laid for the one next year. The life of the party must not fail to say: "All, all are gone, the old familiar faces."
Never in accord with Reason.
Excellent exercise for reducing. E.g. all cavalry officers are thin. Excellent exercise for gaining weight. E.g. all cavalry officers are pot-bellied. "When he gets on a horse he's a regular centaur."
Worn on the index finger, is distingue. Worn on the thumb, is too Oriental. Rings will make your fingers misshapen.
Absurd, with his Greek and Latin words.
Believe that Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Jean-Baptiste Rousseau were brothers, like the two Corneilles.
Induce reverie; make a landscape poetic.
It is sacrilege to cut down a tree.
The combination is really very easy to outwit.
Old wives' tale.
Ate nothing but delicatessen on Good Friday.
Island famous for its rock.
To write up the Salon is a good beginning in literature; it allows a man to cut a figure.
Upsetting it brings bad luck.
Sounds good in a critical article.
Rich man of loose morals.
Festivals of the Directoire period.
Only encourage servants to steal.
When upon it, manage to say a few eloquent words before dying.
Poetic.
Isn't real painting. The only skill required is to splash paint on the cloth and smear it with a broom—distance and lighting do the rest.
Polytechnique: every mother's dream for her boy (old-fashioned). Panic of the bourgeois during insurrections when he hears that Polytechnique sides with the workers (old-fashioned). Just say: "At the School" and people will think you're a graduate. At St. Cyr: young aristocrats. At the School of Medicine: all subversives. At the School of Law: young men of good family.
Are always from families in reduced circumstances. As governesses in the home, dangerous: corrupt the husband.
"A little science takes your religion from you; a great deal brings you back to it."
Snicker, without knowing whether the name is that of a man or a woman.
Bottomless. Symbol of infinity. Induces deep thoughts. At the shore one should always have a good glass. While contemplating the sea, always exclaim: "Water, water everywhere."
Always preceded by "hermetically."
You must bring some back from the seashore.
To avoid it, all you have to do is think of something else.
Incalculable sums with which the ministers buy men. Wax indignant.
Complain of other people's; overlook your own.
In the provinces, anyone who gets himself talked about. "I tell you, I have no secret ambitions" signifies fond of ease or without ability.
Wrote on a golden desk.
The cause of our present demoralization. Argue about the way the plot will come out. Write to the author suggesting ideas. Vent your fury when one of the characters bears your name.
Famous for its barber. "See Seville and die." (See Naples.)
Used only to make toy balloons.
Designed to make clocks and inkwells.
All sorcerers. Their speciality is conversing with the Virgin Mary.
All the good ones are built at Bayonne.
Let the shoemaker stick to his last.
Only good when made at home.
All self-made men first arrived in Paris wearing wooden shoes.
Always keep one in your country place.
Must be exhaled near a woman.
Swallow a raw egg every morning to clear the voice. Tenors always have a "golden, bewitching voice"; baritones a "warm, well-placed voice"; basses "a powerful organ."
More to be feared than any sword.
Place for writing verses.
Any small boat with a woman in it. "Come into my little skiff..."
Sign of health. (See Pimples.)
Thickens the blood.
All "venomous."
After saying "God bless you!" start discussing the origin of this custom. It is clever raillery to say: "Russian and Polish are not spoken, they are sneezed."
Its enemies. What destroys it.
Grow tearful about it.
More complimentary than lawyer. No longer to be trusted.
Always followed by "as a rock."
Recall the glass of blood.
Walks at night on gabled roofs.
"My son, it's all off."
Always full of garlic. Thunder against.
All poets.
Believe it as absolute as mathematics. Useless if you have style.
Acts on your stomach like a broom. Never forget to repeat M. Prudhomme's famous remark: "I don't like it and am glad of it, because if I liked it I would eat it—and I can't stand it." (Some people will find this sensible enough and won't laugh.)
Formerly, runners had it removed.
Look well on boots.
Always in high society. (See Crook.)
Nobody knows what this is, but shrug your shoulders at any mention of it.
The hardest duty of the National Guard.
Calls for oysters, white wine and racy stories.
Yearn for the stage-coach days.
Every one follows his own, like Napoleon.
Whatever is antique is stark, and whatever is stark is antique. Bear this firmly in mind when buying antiques.
Always "fiery." A woman is not to know the difference between a stallion and a horse. A young girl must be told it is a larger type of horse.
Makes the heart beat faster.
Always followed by "and unbending."
All thieves.
"Barometer of public opinion."
Not feasible.
All diseases come from the stomach.
All in the pay of the police.
Always "Herculean." "Might makes Right" (Bismarck).
All Parisians are. But nine out of ten Parisians are from the provinces. In Paris, everybody gorms, nobody works.
"As a horse, an ox, a Turk, Hercules." "The fellow should be strong—he's all sinew."
All wear red berets and tight trousers, smoke pipes in the street—and never study.
The keeping of studs—a fine subject for Parliamentary debate.
Highest reach of political science.
Proof of cowardice.
Always "unusual." (See Winter.)
A greater flow of wit even than of champagne.
Hard-hearted. Refer to them as butchers.
Never call them anything but "harbingers of Spring." Since nobody knows where they come from, say "far-off strand"—poetic.
Sings just before it dies. Can break a man's leg with its wing. The Swan of Cambrai was not a bird but a man named Fenelon. The Swan of Mantua is Virgil. The Swan of Pesaro is Rossini.
The only notable one is that of Damocles. Yearn for the time when swords were worn: "a fellow as trusty as his blade..." Sometimes, though, the sword was never put to use. "The French want to be governed by a sword."
Thunder against.
Everybody has it, more or less.
Thunder indignantly against.
"What is simple is always in good taste." Always say this to a woman who apologizes for the inadequacy of her dress.
Are spoiled by cider, tobacco, sweets, ices, drinking immediately after hot soup and sleeping with the mouth open. Eyeteeth: it is harmful to pull these out owing to their connection with the eye. "Having teeth pulled is no fun."
Nobody knows what it was but it was tremendous. Its deliberations were carried on by masked men; shudder at the thought.
A safeguard for parents and relatives. Always favorable.
Always "dark and impenetrable."
Painful. Things that compel us to think are generally neglected.
Avoid being thirteen at table; it brings bad luck. The strong-minded should not fail to crack jokes: "What is the difference? I'll eat enough for two!" Or again, if there are ladies, ask if any is pregnant.
Always preceded by "honest." Leads to great wealth. Tell the story of Laffitte picking up a pin in the courtyard of the banker Perregaux.
Laugh at them.
Sexually exciting.
Thunder against. Lament the fact that it is not poetical. Call it a time of transition, of decadence.
Wax indignant at the practice.
Male of the frog. Its venom is very dangerous. Lives inside a stone.
The government brand is not so good as that which is smuggled in. Snuff suits studious men. Cause of all the diseases of the brain and spinal cord.
Not one in which tolerant opinions are held.
One ought to try getting by without paying. (See Customs.)
Is taken in secret.
Should always be scientific.
Argue which is nobler, Trade or Industry.
The only verb known to Army men.
Always "dauntless."
Should be by the fastest means.
Fine subject for ornamental clock.
Snicker on hearing his name and joke about the music of the future.
Wax indignant about. A lascivious, impure dance that should only be danced by old ladies.
Thunder against.
Good only if made in Switzerland. In pantomimes, when a character pulls out his watch, it has to be an onion: this never fails to raise a laugh. "Does your watch keep time?" "The sun runs by it."
The water in Paris gives you colic. Salt water buoys you up. Cologne water smells good.
A very practical garment. A very harmful one because it checks perspiration.
Substitute for everything, including reputation.
Eternal topic of conversation. Universal cause of ailments. Always complain of the weather.
Indispensable in the room of a charming woman.
Thunder against. This aesthetic anger is most becoming.
Looks well in a landscape.
Topic for discussion among men. The best must be Bordeaux since doctors prescribe it. The worse it tastes, the more unadulterated it is.
Always "unusual." (See Summer.) Is more healthful than the other seasons.
Always preceded by "sparkling." Cheap as anything. "Good wits jump."
Always refuse to be a witness. You never know where you'll end up.
Member of the sex. One of Adam's ribs. Don't say "the little woman" but "my lady" or still preferable "my better half."
Induce reverie. Well adapted to the composition of verse. In the autumn, when returning from a walk, say: "But see the fading many-colored woods."
Always honest—unless he is rioting.
Chief cause of frenzy in the nineteenth century.
Dash things off—the excuse for errors of style or spelling.
"Well written": a hall-porter's encomium, applied to the newspaper serial he finds entertaining.
Say: "Excuse me, it's not the company; it's the stomach."
Always sowing wild oats; he is expected to do so. Astonishment when he doesn't.
Utter these words with diffidence. All young ladies are pale, frail, and always pure. Prohibit, for their good, every kind of reading, all visits to museums, theaters, and especially to the monkey house at the zoo.
"What a wonderful thing it is!" Always quote the Italian lines, even if you don't know what they mean: "*O Primavera! Gioventu dell' anno! O Gioventu! Primavera della vita!*"
"See Yvetot and die." (See Naples and Seville.)